DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON? (shared by a friend :) )

During one seminars, a woman asked a common question.
She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"
I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It
depends. Is that your husband?"
In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"
Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's
weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer:

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with
your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked
their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a
completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO
anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... because it's
happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the
imagery of that ___expression. It implies that you were just standing
there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.
But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the
natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become
a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it
happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive
you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think
about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the
initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry
subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the
right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the
love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone
else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their
unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the
most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a
friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies
within it.
I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You
could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same
situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT
FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO
LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER
just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it
day in and day out. That's why we have the ___expression "the labor of
love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it
takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things
you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.
Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there
are also laws for relationships.

Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically
stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage
stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws,
the results are predictable. .. you can "make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision".. . not just a feeling.
Singles may ponder on this too.... for future reference! =)

hoW To KeEp YoUr hUsband frOm chEatiNg

How to Keep Your Husband From Cheating
Posted: 2007-08-28 10:06:38

Do you know where your husband is? Beware! Summer is the peak time for husbands to cheat.Why? We're all on the move -- even into the warm weekends of September. It's easy to pack the wife and kids off on a fun vacation or getaway weekend while he stays at home, working in the office and dallying with a lover in the evenings.

That's the word from infidelity expert Ruth Houston, author of "Is He Cheating on You? 829 Telltale Signs." Some men cheat all year long, while others never break their marriage vows. But many men look at summer as an ideal time to hook-up, something Houston calls "seasonal cheating."Houston told Newsday, "These aren't men who are habitual cheaters. They're just looking for a summer fling. It's fun to them. It's a sport, something they can do to break up the routine. If in any way it looks like they're going to get caught, they won't take the chance."

It's hard to know exactly how many men cheat. The National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago reports that twice as many husbands as wives have affairs. Specifically, the 2006 General Social Survey found that 21.3 percent of men admitted having sexual relations while they were married, compared with 12.5 percent of women.Even if your marriage is strong -- that is, you value trust, communicate well and enjoy a sizzling sex life -- Houston insists the temptation to have an affair may be too strong for some men.

Her advice? Wives, you can't be too vigilant. "Women should be proactive rather than reactive," she told Newsday. "Put the odds in your favor."To prevent your husband from cheating on you, do this:-- Attend company events, such as the picnic, even if you don't really want to go. Your presence may be enough to keep him from flirting with other women and for other women to not get ideas that he is available.-- If you're away on vacation while he stays home, check in on him by phone and even in person, if possible, by coming home unexpectedly.-- If he is away, find out where he is staying and get the land line telephone number. "Cell phones are the greatest aid to infidelity ever invented other than the Internet.

You want a land line. With a cell phone, he can be anywhere," Houston advises.-- Be alert. Remember, the wife is often the last to know. If she is paying attention, she will be the first.

TiMe fOr hEaLtH

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tHe cRoSs

Just sharing.. :)

A young man was at the end of his rope, seeing no way out, he dropped to his knees in prayer "Lord, I can't go on," he said. "I have too heavy a cross to bear." The Lord replied, "My son, if you can't bear its weight, just place your cross inside this room. Then, open that other door and pick out any cross you wish." The man was filled with relief and said, "Thank you Lord," and he did as he was told.

Upon entering the other room, he saw many crosses; some so large the tops were not visible. Then, he spotted a tiny cross leaning against a far wall. "I'd like that one, Lord," he whispered. The Lord replied, "My son, that is the cross you just brought in." When life's problems seem overwhelming, it helps to look around and see what other people are coping with.

You may consider yourself far more fortunate than you imagined. YOUR CROSS Whatever your cross Whatever your pain There will always be sunshine After the rain Perhaps you may stumble Perhaps even fall But God's always there To help you through it all

GrOwinG wiTh SoMeOne...

Just sharing an email that my friend sent me..

Keep this in mind. This is for all: the recentlymarried, the ones who have been married, thesoon to get married, and the ones who are still looking............

Years ago, I asked God to give me aspouse, "You don't own because you didn't ask"God said. Not only I asked for a spouse but alsoexplained what kind of spouse I wanted. I want anice, tender, forgiving, passionate, honest,peaceful, generous, understanding, pleasant,warm, intelligent, humorous, attentive,compassionate and truthful. I even mentioned thephysical characteristics I dreamt about.

As timewent by I added the required list of my wantedspouse.One night, in my prayer, God talked to myheart: "My servant, I cannot give you what youwant",I asked God why? God said "Because I amGod and I am fair.

God is the truth and all I do are true and right"I asked "God, I don't understand why I cannot havewhat I ask from you? "God answered, "I willexplain. It is not fair and right for Me to fulfillyour demand because I cannot give something that isnot your own self.It is not fair to give someone who is full of love toyou if sometimes you are still hostile, or to giveyou someone generous but sometimes you canbe cruel; or someone forgiving, however, you stillhide revenge; someone understanding, however,you are very insensitive....

" He then said to me : "It is better for Me to giveyou someone who I know could grow to haveall qualities you are searching rather than to makeyou waste your time to find someone who alreadyhave the qualities you want."Your spouse would be bone from your bone andflesh from your flesh and you will see yourself inher and both of you will be one. Marriage is likea school. It is a life-long an education. It is whereyou and your partner make adjustment and aimnot merely to please each other, but to be betterhuman beings and to make a solid teamwork. I donot give you a perfect partner, because you are notperfect either. I give you a partner with whom youwould grow together.

"Love is a commitment of the heart that will stand the test of wavering emotions, intellectual rationalizing, circumstantial allure, hormonal infatuation, and even the wounds of your lover.

Anything less is not true love.""Have A Heart That Never Hates

Have A Smile That Never Fades

Have A Touch That Never Hurts

And Build A Relation That Never Breaks"